I know, I know. I’m super late to the 2013 movie rankings party. I’d like to think you all will believe it’s because I’m just that thorough. Honestly, I think the truth is that I just have a fear of commitment.
I undoubtedly take these rankings more seriously than anyone in my position should but ranking things, especially movies, is my jam. And I’ll say the same thing I say every year that NO ONE SEEMS TO READ.. .just because something is ranked 23rd doesn’t mean that I didn’t think highly of it. I saw nearly 50 movies in 2013 and I primarily only see movies that are well reviewed or come recommended from people I trust. Last year I saw
70 something way too many movies and did a top 50 post, which I actually had a tough time narrowing down. This year I’ve given up on my dream to rank that high as most people seemed to think that was unnecessary or something…
So, because I’m a man of the people, I present to you my top 25 films of 2013. Read more
Last year I shared my knee jerk reactions to the Beale Street Music Festival lineup announcement. Comments came along throughout the day lauding how great a job Memphis does getting decent acts to Tom Lee Park for the affordable event, and I felt like a jackass for putting down the Little Festival that Could.
The year before last, my last time to attend the BSMF, I wrote a short review and a long rant about how to make the festival better. I still stand by those thoughts. Read more
Claire, Andi, and Nikki
Oh Juan Pablo, my friend, what have you done? You had these girls on a string, but something has gone horribly wrong.
You were handed everything on a silver platter. 27 girls showed up at your front door wanting to fall in love with you, wanting to mother your current and future children, and dying for a wildly over-the-top wedding funded by ABC and officiated by Chris Harrison with a guest list full of reality television rejects.
Juan Pablo, all you had to do was smile, listen, and let the girls do all of the talking—all of it. You did so well for so long…
But you blew it. You just had to open your trap in the fantasy suite to the one girl who actually has the ability to listen and process information without her brain function being block by the thought of Neil Lane fitting her for a 4-carat diamond engagement ring.
Let’s get to this nonsense. Here’s what we learned last night… Read more
Juan Pablo with Renee and her mute son.
Juan Pablo’s frequent flyer miles outweighed the entertainment value of what was a dull episode of The Bachelor last night. Now I know why ABC is giving us two episodes this week—they’re apologizing for a snoozer of a hometown episode. Claire’s (Clay-er’s) family of middle-aged women and a mute mother were the only redeeming quality, but we’ll get more into that rag-tag group later.
Instead of a list of what we learned last night, I’m going to rank the families. Here are the rules…
Each family will start with 100 points. From there I will deduct points in a totally subjective way with no clear pattern. This is of course mirroring the perfectly broken system used in Olympic figure stating. The families are ranked from 1st to 4th.
Let’s begin… Read more
Unquestionably, one of the biggest omissions on last year’s Oscar nominations was the absence of Leonardo DiCaprio in Best Supporting Actor for “Django Unchained.”
The performance, regarded as one of his finest, was seen as a lock for some sort of recognition. Awards watchers didn’t expect the Academy to opt for the selection of his co-star Christoph Waltz instead, who would ultimately go on to win the award. Read more
Any time I confront a group of Southern white women, I’m instantly reminded of countless National Geographic specials. Like herds of animals in the African Sahara, this unique species consume new trends in packs. They invade a concept for a short period of time, “conquer it” (at least in their view) and then move on to the next obsession.
Why? It’s in their blood. There’s a reason figures like Scarlett O’Hara stand tall above other female characters in literature: there’s this abundant drive inherent in Southern white women to latch on to certain items of buzz in the culture and make them their own. And similar to the Union solider in “Gone with the Wind,” God forbid you stand in their way, or you could end up with a bullet in you.
Welcome to Miami, bienvenidos a Miami!
“If the moon and the skies and everyone wants us to be together…”
-Juan Pablo, Philosopher
(There was no ending to that sentence in real life, by the way. I didn’t cut anything out – it just straight up had no ending)
What we learned from The Bachelor’s trip to Miami… Read more