Roundtable: 2014 NBA Playoffs Preview

Spring has sprung, The Masters has come and gone, so now The Wise Guise and the sports world are focused on one thing: The NHL Playoffs -- er (clears throat), excuse me... THE NBA PLAYOFFS, BABY! The Grizzly Bears have nestled into the 7 seed and will face a familiar foe in Read more

He Said, She Said Movie Review: Veronica Mars

Joseph and Palmer were supporters of the Veronica Mars movie from its KickStarter's early beginnings. Now that the movie has come out, Joseph and Palmer give their reviews of the feature length reunion of one of the first shows they watched together as a married couple. Joseph: In its first weekend Read more

Bitten by the Green-Eyed Monster

We all fall victim to the green-eyed monster. It has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. In fact, you might be surprised to learn that the first reference the green-eyed monster dates back hundreds of years to Shakespeare's Othello. O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-ey'd Read more

My Weekend at The Masters: Bubba, History, and How It's Supposed to Be

It was clear on Saturday night how things were going to go, if you looked at Twitter, watched the Golf Channel, and listened to the pundits. On Sunday, here's how it was supposed to be… - Bubba Watson had only won 1 out of 14 tournaments that he had led Read more

Feeny Friday: First Girl Meets World Teaser Trailer

Happy Feeny Friday, you Feeny Fanatics! Today's post is as simple as it is wonderful - the first Girl Meets World teaser trailer is here. We are also getting more GMW cast photos, as well as confirmations that Feeny will be back for the pilot (premiering sometime this summer), Minkus will be back Read more

The Wise Guise Discuss Colbert Replacing Letterman

The news broke earlier today that Stephen Colbert would be replacing David Letterman on CBS's The Late Show.  The Wise Guise discussed it via our normal means - e-mail, text message, and Gchat. While some websites share celebrities' thoughts, we thought you'd be craving our thoughts, so fear not. Here Read more

Alex Beene’s Guide to Being a Southern Gentleman – Part Two: How to Handle Relationships

Posted on by Alex Beene in Assorted Wisdom, Featured, Misc. Posts | 1 Comment

Rose Alex Beene’s Guide to Being a Southern Gentleman – Part Two: How to Handle Relationships

I know, I know. For some of you, part one was too income-heavy. I’m not going to backtrack my views on the things covered; brands and travel are essential parts to your gentleman repertoire. However, if entry-level employment or graduate school has temporarily blocked the funding of those parts, don’t be discouraged. You can always get to those a little later with hard work and dedication to your goals.

Today’s topic is something you can fortunately do (for the most part) without a big wallet. Treating other human beings with love and respect is a time-honored tradition, especially in the South. It’s through this treatment you form relationships. This may seem like basic knowledge to many of you, but one look at the dating scene these days, and you’ll realize it isn’t for most.

There’s also a collision of cultures at play in the South. The younger generation nationwide seems less interested in terms like “long-term” and “commitment.” Sure, polls show they still want to walk down the aisle at some point, but they’d rather wait around to do such. That notion of waiting can prove intimidating in the South, though, where you’ll find marriage still starts fairly young for many couples.

What’s an aspiring Southern gentleman to do? As someone who isn’t hitched yet (I know as of writing this I’ll received dozens of offers sent to my e-mail in the hours ahead), I can only speak from what I’ve seen in my personal life and other friends’ relationships that worked. Oh yes, and those things that didn’t. Let’s cover the essentials. Read more

Anxiety, the Arts, and Spontaneous Combustion

Posted on by Joseph Williams in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

tryingnottoexplode Anxiety, the Arts, and Spontaneous Combustion

The Wise Guise is approaching its 500th post. We never dreamed what this site would become when we first launched it in early 2012 and we have no idea what it will be like when we publish the 1,000th post. But we’re thankful for all of our friends and family who have supported and shared our work. We’re also thankful for our brilliant friends who take time from doing big things and write for our site. One of our closest friends, Robert Funke, has written a brilliant script and producing a short film. He’s in the final week of the Kickstarter campaign to fund that movie, Trying Not to Explode.

UPDATE: If you want to read the entire script (SPOILER ALERT), then click here to check it out!

If you love wit and hilarity, then you’ll love my interview with Robert Funke below about the movie, the Kickstarter process, and so much more. After reading his answers to my questions, it inspired me to increase my pledge to the film. It’s going to be something special! Enjoy!

So, what’s the elevator pitch for your film?

Depends on who’s in the elevator.

If it’s perfectly demographically stratified like the bus in SPEED or the waiting room in JOHN Q, I’d say “So there’s this older couple riding the train home one night, and all of a sudden they both spontaneously combust. Nobody knows why. Nobody saw it. But they had a kid, a guy in his 20′s, and he’s not handling it very well.”

If it’s a teenager, I’d be like, “Hey dude, want to see some people blow up?”

But what if I’m in the elevator with a bookish, librarian short? I’d say, “Hi. Love the glasses. Have you read Kevin Wilson? Of course you have, you’re quite bookish. Yes, “The Family Fang” is one of my favorites, too. Anyway, if you’ve read “Blowing Up On The Spot,” you know it’s like nothing else you’ve ever read–funny, tragic, moving, surreal. I’ve always thought it would make a great film. So we’re making a great film out of it.”

If the person in the elevator seems particularly wealthy, my pitch would probably be something like “Please, sir, can I have some of your money?” and if he declined, I would contemplate my abilities as a pickpocket, and then decide ultimately that I just wasn’t going to get much out of that elevator ride and make peace with it.

But really, I think if people read the passage that hooked me, they’ll understand:

“Three years ago, my parents blew up. I don’t know how else to say it. One evening, riding the subway home from an evening out, my parents sat in an empty subway car and spontaneously combusted. A subway guard found them later that night, the upper half of their bodies charred beyond recognition. It was the first recorded double Spontaneous Human Combustion in history, which we unfortunately heard several times over the following weeks…”

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Concert Reviews: Justin Timberlake – “The 20/20 Experience World Tour”

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Entertainment, Featured, Music | Leave a comment

JT Concert Reviews: Justin Timberlake – “The 20/20 Experience World Tour”

“The 20/20 Experience World Tour” is currently touring throughout the United States through Spring 2014. These reviews are from the Bridgestone Arena show on Friday, November 15th and the FedEx Forum show in his hometown, Memphis, TN, on Monday, November 18th. Read more

Calm Down, Internet: Reports of It’s a Wonderful Life Sequel Likely a Hoax

Posted on by Sutter Vaught in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

zuzu and george bailey Calm Down, Internet: Reports of Its a Wonderful Life Sequel Likely a Hoax

[Yesterday, Variety published an article announcing a sequel to "It's a Wonderful Life." TIME, USA Today, the LA Times, Huffington Post, and others announced the news. Much of the internet scoffed and scorned the idea. The Wise Guise and friends nearly went into absolute shock. But, ironically, our very own Sutter Vaught (who has argued against It's a Wonderful Life in the past) did some research that shows all of this news is most likely a big ol' hoax!]

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has followed the blog during the holiday season that The Wise Guise and friends were sent into a fit bordering on frothy rage at yesterday’s announcement of an up-and-coming sequel to It’s A Wonderful Life.

From the Variety article:

Star Partners and Hummingbird Prods. are collaborating on production of a sequel to Frank Capra’s iconic 1946 movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” which starred Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.

The sequel, titled “It’s a Wonderful Life: The Rest of the Story,” is being financed by Allen J. Schwalb of Star Partners who will also produce along with Bob Farnsworth of Hummingbird. The duo are aiming to get the movie into theaters for the 2015 holiday season.

Karolyn Grimes, who played George Bailey’s daughter “Zuzu” in the original, will return for the “Wonderful Life” sequel as an angel who shows Bailey’s unlikeable grandson (also named George Bailey) how much better off the world would have been had he never been born.

Grimes, of course, bellowed the iconic line “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!” in the original movie, about a troubled family man (Stewart) whose near-suicide on Christmas Eve brings on the intervention of his guardian angel.

Farnsworth and Martha Bolton have written the screenplay.

However, as the Internet, ourselves included, worked itself into a hyperbolic rage over this sacrilege, our very own in-house skeptic, Sutter “Die Hard was better” Vaught put on his old-timey reporter hat and hit the mean streets of Google to ask the tough questions.  What he found may shock you.*

Or not, if you’ve ever heard Dan Aykroyd talk about Ghostbusters 3 and/or have used the Internet more than twice.  Point being, this movie we’re all panicking about?  It ain’t happening.

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Roundtable: It’s a Wonderful Life SEQUEL?!?!?!?!

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

Its A Wonderful Life Roundtable: Its a Wonderful Life SEQUEL?!?!?!?!

It’s the latest sign that the End of the World may be upon us… Paramount announced yesterday that they are green-lighting a sequel to perennial Christmas film, AFI-voted most inspirational film of all time, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The Wise Guise and friends have some thoughts. Some very strong thoughts and feelings.

Alex: I just posted this online, but Paramount’s doing a sequel to “It’s a Wonderful Life” in 2015. [cries]

Joseph: I saw that. I hoped it was a lie and thought it was a joke. They’re casting the actress who played ZuZu as an angel, who visits George Bailey’s unlikeable grandson to show him how much better off the world would be HAD HE NEVER BEEN BORN! How wonderful is THAT life? Why? They claim that they always wanted to do a sequel, but rejected every script until they got this one. WHAT? They rejected every script because this idea is terrible.

zuzu and george bailey Roundtable: Its a Wonderful Life SEQUEL?!?!?!?!

Clayton: Oh boy.

Joseph: This is gross. This is horrible. So much anger. Never has there been more evidence our current society is much more Pottersville than Bedford Falls…

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Movie Reviews: 12 Years a Slave

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Movie Reviews, Movies | Leave a comment

One of the most-talked about films of the year and frontrunners for Best Picture is Steve McQueen’s “12 Years a Slave”. Starring a myriad of actors in small roles and based upon a true story of a free black man enslaved for 12 years in the 1840s and 1850s, it is a film unlike any other you’ve ever seen. Alex and Joseph each present their thoughts.

Alex Beene – Examining an Instant Classic: What makes “12 Years a Slave” Great

I suppose I should start with some elaborate explanation as to why you’re just now reading a Wise Guise recap of “12 Years a Slave.” Steve McQueen’s sprawling historical drama has been in theaters for weeks, garnering universal acclaim from critics, strong awards buzz and – not surprisingly – some walk-outs from audience members not anticipating such intensity in its filmmaking.

In reality, we’re just a group of busy Southerners who have a hard time being able to keep ourselves grounded at a computer long enough to reflect on such an experience. And yet, perhaps that additional time given to ponder on this masterpiece of a film helps in attempting to detail why this historical recap on one of slavery’s darkest stories is an essential lesson for Americans eager to get a brutally realistic take on a once-divided nation.

12years1 Movie Reviews: 12 Years a Slave

For “12 Years a Slave’s” true accomplishment is not in providing a by-the-books overview of Civil War-era America, but rather in giving viewers a very intimate story of one man’s stunning story of survival. Once-free Northerner Solomon Northup, brilliantly portrayed by Chiwetel Ejiofor, is drugged and thrown into the ownership of Southern landowners. The setting is perfect for a bombastic melodrama over the battle for rights and acceptance.

Yet, McQueen ignores the common plight of other films in the genre. More than anything, this is about survival. Northup spends little time screaming about his freedom and instead utilizes most of his life as a slave simply trying to live until the next day.

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Roundtable: Thoughts on Darren Aronofsky’s “Noah”

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies, Roundtables | Leave a comment

215952 darren aronofsky noah russell crowe emma watson ray winstone Roundtable: Thoughts on Darren Aronofskys Noah

[Editor's Note: I'm a big fan of Aronofsky. I LOVED The Fountain and thought Black Swan, though imperfect, was extremely creative and captivating. So I was disappointed when Aronofsky dropped as the director of the second Wolverine film. But then I was intrigued when I found out he was directing a film about the Old Testament tale of Noah's Ark. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to see how this would be. And, with the premiere of the first trailer, I'm still not sure. So I did what I do with many things… sent the trailer to some of my smartest and funniest friends to get their thoughts. It would have been selfish of me not to share these with you. - Joseph]

Joseph: From the man who brought us Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, and Black Swan



Some context is helpful for what the rumored problems with the early screenings have been.

Seth: We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

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