Movie Review: Dunkirk


When the credits roll on Christopher Nolan's latest film - a cinematic experience that brings the full scale of the Battle of Dunkirk to the big screen for the first time - the audience is left speechless. Unlike nearly all of his other films, it's not because you're trying Read more

Dream-Casting a Live-Action Little Mermaid for Disney


Perhaps no task is more difficult for a studio than casting a well-known franchise to match the sky-high expectations of fans. From novels to comic books to animated film remakes, Hollywood has had mixed results with the task; some have spent the big bucks to get the demanded stars, Read more

Best Movies of 2016: The 3rd Annual Groucho Awards


Welcome to the Third Annual Groucho Awards! This is my own platform to nominate and award the movies of my choosing, because it seems that far too often, the movies with the biggest campaigns get Oscar nominations and the little guys are left out in the cold. This year Read more

A compelling case that Corinne is six-years-old, and other Bachelor nonsense


  Written by: @jeremywilson412 In the words of Chris Harrison, "Coming up on this week's episode (recap) of The Bachelor..." The ladies receive their first real test, we pause to remember those we lost this week, I present a theory about Corinne that is bulletproof, and we discuss the contenders and pretenders. But Read more

I was not going to write about The Bachelor, but then...


(Written by: @JeremyWilson412) I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up in a shark costume convinced it was a dolphin costume. I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up who hooked up with Nick at Read more

What I Learned about Chris Pratt's Faith


Most of us have loved Chris Pratt since we first met him as Andy Dwyer on Parks and Rec. Then he made his dramatic debuts in Academy Award Best Picture nominees Moneyball and Zero Dark Thirty. The latter revealed that he could be an action star, so it came as no surprise Read more

Reality Check

Top Five Worst Bachelor Moments: Double Dose Recap

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Reality Check, Television | Leave a comment

 1. “I appreciate you.” 

Sean said this to WhiteLesley in an intimate moment on a bench (duh, like, all the intimate moments in this show happen on benches), and it made everyone across the world cringe.  This is something that, say, your boss says to you.  Or your mom.  Or your first-born child (God forbid).  Not your bachelor lover.  I know SweatySean totally digs WhiteLesley’s completely overwhelming level of NORMALITY, but being “appreciated” has never been code for: let’s get married and have lots of post-marital sex and babies.

Lesley! (From...Somewhere)

Lesley! (From…Somewhere)

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Top 5 Worst Bachelor Moments: Recap

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Reality Check, Television | Leave a comment

 1.  “Is that a helicopter?”

Said LiabilityLindsay, as she walked towards a helicopter.  Sure is, SweatySean responded.  Suffice it to say, this girl has little to offer except that she is certifiably crazy and spends most of her  Sean-time with her tongue down his throat.  She also said the phrase, “When I was an adolescent,” which nobody has ever said, ever.  Maybe she doesn’t know what a teen-a-ger is.

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The Bachelor (Still boring!) Recap

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Reality Check, Television, TV Reviews | Leave a comment

The previews for next week’s double feature of The Bachelor were, as usual, far more interesting than the show itself.  They featured a hypothermic ambulance ride, tears (naturally), and girls going nuts.  Just a great way to start off a week.  This week was BLEH as usual, but with so many idiotic people being filmed at the same time, there’s still a few shining moments.

First, Sean’s one-on-one, where he jet-set to Joshua Tree with Selma, a terrifyingly small Iraqi chick whose boobs were precariously close to bouncing out of her shirt the whole time.  We couldn’t look away!

Busty Muslim. (From her ABC Bio page)

Busty Muslim. (From her ABC Bio page)

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The Bachelor Recap Week 3: Sean “I love that!” Lowe

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Reality Check, Television | 3 Comments

Oh boy! The Bachelor this week featured all kinds of goodies for our eyes and our ears.  Per usual, the show remained inane and void of any tolerable content, but due to its predictability and redundancy, there’s plenty to write about!

Sean obviously took WhiteLesley on his first one-on-one this week, taking her to the Guinness World Records Store? Museum? Restaurant? Dungeon? To break the record for the “World’s Longest On Screen Kiss.”  It sort of seems like a roundabout way of eschewing sexual assault, but apparently the record is something like, three and a half minutes, which inspired hope in all high schoolers who spend the majority of Friday nights making out in their basements.

 

Longest Kiss looks like CHILD'S PLAY (from Hollywood Life)

Longest Kiss looks like CHILD’S PLAY (from Hollywood Life)

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The Bachelor Recap Week Two: Sean Lowe-An American Hero!

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Reality Check, Television | 1 Comment

On last night’s episode of The Bachelor, America got a taste for Sean Lowe: the new American hero.  He looks like a firefighter and a virginal princess got together and conceived him while donating all their money to charity.  Still– Let me preface by saying that I don’t love Sean, only because I find it difficult to have an overwhelming and debilitating crush on him.  He’s just not my style. Too many muscles or something.  But, when Chris Harrison dubbed him as the “most sincere” bachelor he’s had on the show yet, that has to count for something, right? Chris is divorced now! Sean Lowe is all he has!

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The Bachelor Returns

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Reality Check, Television | 2 Comments

the-bachelor-premiere-a-26th-girl-and-first-eliminations

While most of you idiots were watching the boring National Championship yesterday, I was guh-lued to my seat for this season’s premiere of The Bachelor.  For everyone who is reading this simply so that I don’t disown you as a friend or future spouse, I’ll quickly fill you in (really, don’t watch the show, it’s terrible).

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