Movie Review: Dunkirk


When the credits roll on Christopher Nolan's latest film - a cinematic experience that brings the full scale of the Battle of Dunkirk to the big screen for the first time - the audience is left speechless. Unlike nearly all of his other films, it's not because you're trying Read more

Dream-Casting a Live-Action Little Mermaid for Disney


Perhaps no task is more difficult for a studio than casting a well-known franchise to match the sky-high expectations of fans. From novels to comic books to animated film remakes, Hollywood has had mixed results with the task; some have spent the big bucks to get the demanded stars, Read more

Best Movies of 2016: The 3rd Annual Groucho Awards


Welcome to the Third Annual Groucho Awards! This is my own platform to nominate and award the movies of my choosing, because it seems that far too often, the movies with the biggest campaigns get Oscar nominations and the little guys are left out in the cold. This year Read more

A compelling case that Corinne is six-years-old, and other Bachelor nonsense


  Written by: @jeremywilson412 In the words of Chris Harrison, "Coming up on this week's episode (recap) of The Bachelor..." The ladies receive their first real test, we pause to remember those we lost this week, I present a theory about Corinne that is bulletproof, and we discuss the contenders and pretenders. But Read more

I was not going to write about The Bachelor, but then...


(Written by: @JeremyWilson412) I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up in a shark costume convinced it was a dolphin costume. I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up who hooked up with Nick at Read more

What I Learned about Chris Pratt's Faith


Most of us have loved Chris Pratt since we first met him as Andy Dwyer on Parks and Rec. Then he made his dramatic debuts in Academy Award Best Picture nominees Moneyball and Zero Dark Thirty. The latter revealed that he could be an action star, so it came as no surprise Read more

Reality Check

Fantasy Survivor Challenge: Week 3

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Reality Check, Television | Leave a comment

SCOREBOARD:

Team Colin: 10 points
Team Joseph: 9 points

Team Clayton: 8 points

Joseph’s Expert Analysis/Venting:

I couldn’t believe my eyes as I watched. Having watched every episode of Survivor, I can usually read the editing of the episode to figure out who is going to Tribal Council. Mark  Burnett and Jeff Probst occasionally throw us a curveball, but it’s usually pretty predictable in the first 15 minutes of the episode. So I was genuinely shocked when the guys’ tribe won immunity. Something was afoot. I sighed with relief at Bill and Leif living for another week. And then, IT HAPPENED.

Unprecedented.  Unbelievable.  Unfathomable.  In a historic move, what has been discussed by tribes in the past actually happened.  King Colton wanted to make history.  First of all, it’s clear he’s watched Survivor before. He knows how this game works better than most of his fellow competitors. He seems to forget, though, that we now live in an Era of Russell Hantz as opposed to an Era of Richard Hatch.  What I mean is that jurors are not very likely to award a victory to an obnoxious player, no matter how cleverly or forcefully he/she played the game.  Boston Rob learned this lesson and eventually won when he steamrolled everyone, stabbing people in the back but picking his blind loyalist followers well (people who jurors couldn’t possibly want to win) while also building personal relationships and charming people while working hard. Russell never learned this lesson. Colton may very likely make it to the end.  Who wouldn’t want to go up against him in the final tribal council?!?

After convincing his tribe in a true tour de force to be the first tribe in Survivor history to give away tribal immunity (each of the individual eight players had to agree to go to Tribal Council), we were treated to one of the most explosive tribal councils in memory. Race relations in America. Generational disparity.  Economic policy. Sexuality in America. Stereotyping. Defense of nuance, complex humans who can’t be put in boxes based on race, sexuality, geopolitical locations.  And then the tribe bowed to Dictator Colton and voted out Bill. The guys played the “As long as it’s not me” card and went along.  Clearly, they’re competing in the “Sitting Next to Colton In the End” Sweepstakes. Jeff Probst, while saying it was a top dumb-ass move in Survivor history, seems to think that the smart move for someone like Jay or Jonas is to go along with majority and not rock the ship this early in the game if the majority was moving towards going. I tend to disagree. I think it would have been a great idea to stand up and say that this is a dumb idea and it would be better to keep a strong numbers game.  Colton is clearly lobbying for completely forming a new alliance when merging anyways. Stand up to the madness and stay strong.  BUT, if you’re staking your claim on sitting next to Colton in the end, I guess it’s not that unwise.

On to my pep talk to my own little Final Four team… Read more

Liz Riggs: The Bachelor Finale

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Guest Spots, Reality Check, Television | Leave a comment

This guest post comes from our first repeat guest blogger, Liz Riggs. If you missed her first post on The Bachelor you should definitely check it out as well!

It’s official: Ben Flabjlekwrjfjlkds has officially become America’s most hated bachelor.  And Courtney has gotten hotter, more irritating, and established herself as the most frustrating person to watch on TV.  Listen. We all know what happened.  Lindzi rode horses all throughout the Swiss Mountains on the finale and we realized we knew nothing about her except that she was maybe from somewhere near Seattle.  In fact, I think Ben actually used that as one of the integral pieces of her personality that his family should know about her.    She still wore too much make up and had what appeared to be rotting pieces of straw sticking out of her head, just drawing more attention to the fact that Courtney is really hot.  Like, seriously, have you seen her? Ben, she’s really hot.  And so we sat through two hours of mind-numbing horseshit, watching Ben make the biggest mistake of his life.  But hey, his big sister, whose face looks like Ben’s was photoshopped onto a female body, thinks Courtney is the bees knees. And now the asshat couple will live happily ever after for three months until they realize they have no mutual interest besides drinking copious amounts of wine and not appreciating tabloid hate. Read more

Fantasy Survivor Challenge: Week 2

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Reality Check, Television | 7 Comments

Since we’re not yet to the merge, the scoring each week is quite simple right now.  After the female tribe stopped the male tribe’s dominant momentum, the alpha male alliance fractured quickly once it was shown Colton’s clever and not-so-clever band of misfits had the numbers, and Matthew was sent packing.

Team Joseph: 5 points

Team Colin: 5 points

Team Clayton: 4 points
Read more

Whitney Reisser: Idol Thoughts

Posted on by Guest in Featured, Guest Spots, Reality Check, Television | 6 Comments

This guest post comes from Maryville, TN native Whitney Reisser. We are honored to help fulfill her dream of being an American Idol blogger and we look forward to having her share some more Idol Thoughts in the future!

It’s officially my favorite season…American Idol season!  My name is Whitney Reisser, and I am a self-proclaimed Idoloonie.  It has always been my dream to be an Idol blogger, so you can imagine my excitement when Clayton asked me to join The Wise Guise and share my passion for Idol with you.

Let me start of by telling you a little bit about myself and my own Idol journey.  I’ve been avid watcher of American Idol since season one, and I do not miss an episode.  I calculated the hours per season, and I think I’ve watched around 800 hours of American Idol. That doesn’t include the fact that I often watch episodes multiple times to ensure I really know the performances and the contestants.  In my spare time, I love reading Idol blogs, doing research about contestants’ lives “before Idol,” and watching my favorite Idol recap webisode “Idology” at TV Line.

Okay, so I could either be making myself out to be a total nerd or as a well-educated and trusted Idol source…I’m gonna assume it’s the latter.  So with the first week of live shows behind us and a huge 12-person elimination last week, we embark on our first theme week this Wednesday.  Before we see our top 13 battle it out, I want to do a quick run through of our contestants this year (listed in the order they were announced).  Feel free to give your input in the comments below. Read more

Liz Riggs: I Want To Know What Love Is

Posted on by Liz Riggs in Featured, Guest Spots, Reality Check, Television | 5 Comments

This guest post comes from Nashville, TN resident Liz Riggs. We are proud to endorse her post on The Bachelor and we look forward to having her work with us more in the future!

If you haven’t seen The Bachelor yet, then allow the remainder of this piece to enlighten you.   I think most half educated human beings with a pulse know the premise of the show: a douchey 20 something male lacking an overwhelming amount of self awareness and containing just enough desperation simultaneously “dates” anywhere between 2 and 25 women whilst being followed by cameras.  It’s quite obviously the only recipe for true love.

Now, for those of you who haven’t watched much of this season, I would be absolutely delighted to fill you in.  Ben F., a “wine maker” from Sonoma experienced a devastating loss on last season’s The Bachelorette (hopefully your middle school inference skills can help you surmise the premise of that show).  He then became ABC’s new bachelor—God forbid they choose an actual person that applied for the position.  He sorted through a variety of women ranging from boring to extremely boring, slutty to potentially-bisexual, PhD students to “VIP” Cocktail waitresses, and LA models to Southern Belles. Read more

Inaugural Wise Guise Survivor Fantasy Draft

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Reality Check, Television | 2 Comments

Welcome to the Inaugural Wise Guise Survivor Fantasy Draft! Much debate went into the format and it wasn’t even actually finalized until nearly the end of the draft. Here is the agreed upon format for the proceedings…

Classic, fantasy, snake style draft. Each of us will have a team of 5 to “coach” throughout the season. One little remaining castaway will be left standing all by their self on the proverbial playground.

Here is the point system: Survivor Winner: 50 points. Survivor Runner-Up: 20 points. Survivor Third-Place: 12 points. (If the non-winning finalists both receive same number of final votes, each one is awarded 16 points, PGA Tournament style.) If your player makes the jury: 5 points. If your player wins an individual immunity challenge: 3 points. If your player wins an individual reward challenge: 2 points. If your player is selected by the winner of the individual reward challenge to also participate in the reward: 1 point. Every episode your player survives gains them 1 additional point.

Let the record show that each of us fall in vastly different parts of the fandom spectrum. Joseph, as many of you know, is Mr. Survivor, he’s the mega-fan. Colin is a regular Survivor viewer and casual fan of the show. Clayton has yet to see a full season of the show and has only seen bits and pieces of various seasons due to past roommates. As far as he is concerned, Russell is the greatest Survivor participant ever.

The following took place via a ridiculous email thread on February 27, 2012. We think you will find this rather entertaining whether you watch Survivor or not. Viewer discretion is advised.

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