Movie Review: Dunkirk


When the credits roll on Christopher Nolan's latest film - a cinematic experience that brings the full scale of the Battle of Dunkirk to the big screen for the first time - the audience is left speechless. Unlike nearly all of his other films, it's not because you're trying Read more

Dream-Casting a Live-Action Little Mermaid for Disney


Perhaps no task is more difficult for a studio than casting a well-known franchise to match the sky-high expectations of fans. From novels to comic books to animated film remakes, Hollywood has had mixed results with the task; some have spent the big bucks to get the demanded stars, Read more

Best Movies of 2016: The 3rd Annual Groucho Awards


Welcome to the Third Annual Groucho Awards! This is my own platform to nominate and award the movies of my choosing, because it seems that far too often, the movies with the biggest campaigns get Oscar nominations and the little guys are left out in the cold. This year Read more

A compelling case that Corinne is six-years-old, and other Bachelor nonsense


  Written by: @jeremywilson412 In the words of Chris Harrison, "Coming up on this week's episode (recap) of The Bachelor..." The ladies receive their first real test, we pause to remember those we lost this week, I present a theory about Corinne that is bulletproof, and we discuss the contenders and pretenders. But Read more

I was not going to write about The Bachelor, but then...


(Written by: @JeremyWilson412) I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up in a shark costume convinced it was a dolphin costume. I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up who hooked up with Nick at Read more

What I Learned about Chris Pratt's Faith


Most of us have loved Chris Pratt since we first met him as Andy Dwyer on Parks and Rec. Then he made his dramatic debuts in Academy Award Best Picture nominees Moneyball and Zero Dark Thirty. The latter revealed that he could be an action star, so it came as no surprise Read more

Movie Previews

Anxiety, the Arts, and Spontaneous Combustion

Posted on by Joseph Williams in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

tryingnottoexplode

The Wise Guise is approaching its 500th post. We never dreamed what this site would become when we first launched it in early 2012 and we have no idea what it will be like when we publish the 1,000th post. But we’re thankful for all of our friends and family who have supported and shared our work. We’re also thankful for our brilliant friends who take time from doing big things and write for our site. One of our closest friends, Robert Funke, has written a brilliant script and producing a short film.

 

If you love wit and hilarity, then you’ll love my interview with Robert Funke below about the movie, the Kickstarter process, and so much more. After reading his answers to my questions, it inspired me to increase my pledge to the film. It’s going to be something special! Enjoy!

So, what’s the elevator pitch for your film?

Depends on who’s in the elevator.

If it’s perfectly demographically stratified like the bus in SPEED or the waiting room in JOHN Q, I’d say “So there’s this older couple riding the train home one night, and all of a sudden they both spontaneously combust. Nobody knows why. Nobody saw it. But they had a kid, a guy in his 20’s, and he’s not handling it very well.”

If it’s a teenager, I’d be like, “Hey dude, want to see some people blow up?”

But what if I’m in the elevator with a bookish, librarian short? I’d say, “Hi. Love the glasses. Have you read Kevin Wilson? Of course you have, you’re quite bookish. Yes, “The Family Fang” is one of my favorites, too. Anyway, if you’ve read “Blowing Up On The Spot,” you know it’s like nothing else you’ve ever read–funny, tragic, moving, surreal. I’ve always thought it would make a great film. So we’re making a great film out of it.”

If the person in the elevator seems particularly wealthy, my pitch would probably be something like “Please, sir, can I have some of your money?” and if he declined, I would contemplate my abilities as a pickpocket, and then decide ultimately that I just wasn’t going to get much out of that elevator ride and make peace with it.

But really, I think if people read the passage that hooked me, they’ll understand:

“Three years ago, my parents blew up. I don’t know how else to say it. One evening, riding the subway home from an evening out, my parents sat in an empty subway car and spontaneously combusted. A subway guard found them later that night, the upper half of their bodies charred beyond recognition. It was the first recorded double Spontaneous Human Combustion in history, which we unfortunately heard several times over the following weeks…”

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Calm Down, Internet: Reports of It’s a Wonderful Life Sequel Likely a Hoax

Posted on by Sutter Vaught in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

zuzu-and-george-bailey

[Yesterday, Variety published an article announcing a sequel to “It’s a Wonderful Life.” TIME, USA Today, the LA Times, Huffington Post, and others announced the news. Much of the internet scoffed and scorned the idea. The Wise Guise and friends nearly went into absolute shock. But, ironically, our very own Sutter Vaught (who has argued against It’s a Wonderful Life in the past) did some research that shows all of this news is most likely a big ol’ hoax!]

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has followed the blog during the holiday season that The Wise Guise and friends were sent into a fit bordering on frothy rage at yesterday’s announcement of an up-and-coming sequel to It’s A Wonderful Life.

From the Variety article:

Star Partners and Hummingbird Prods. are collaborating on production of a sequel to Frank Capra’s iconic 1946 movie “It’s a Wonderful Life,” which starred Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.

The sequel, titled “It’s a Wonderful Life: The Rest of the Story,” is being financed by Allen J. Schwalb of Star Partners who will also produce along with Bob Farnsworth of Hummingbird. The duo are aiming to get the movie into theaters for the 2015 holiday season.

Karolyn Grimes, who played George Bailey’s daughter “Zuzu” in the original, will return for the “Wonderful Life” sequel as an angel who shows Bailey’s unlikeable grandson (also named George Bailey) how much better off the world would have been had he never been born.

Grimes, of course, bellowed the iconic line “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!” in the original movie, about a troubled family man (Stewart) whose near-suicide on Christmas Eve brings on the intervention of his guardian angel.

Farnsworth and Martha Bolton have written the screenplay.

However, as the Internet, ourselves included, worked itself into a hyperbolic rage over this sacrilege, our very own in-house skeptic, Sutter “Die Hard was better” Vaught put on his old-timey reporter hat and hit the mean streets of Google to ask the tough questions.  What he found may shock you.*

Or not, if you’ve ever heard Dan Aykroyd talk about Ghostbusters 3 and/or have used the Internet more than twice.  Point being, this movie we’re all panicking about?  It ain’t happening.

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Roundtable: It’s a Wonderful Life SEQUEL?!?!?!?!

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

It's A Wonderful Life

It’s the latest sign that the End of the World may be upon us… Paramount announced yesterday that they are green-lighting a sequel to perennial Christmas film, AFI-voted most inspirational film of all time, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The Wise Guise and friends have some thoughts. Some very strong thoughts and feelings.

Alex: I just posted this online, but Paramount’s doing a sequel to “It’s a Wonderful Life” in 2015. [cries]

Joseph: I saw that. I hoped it was a lie and thought it was a joke. They’re casting the actress who played ZuZu as an angel, who visits George Bailey’s unlikeable grandson to show him how much better off the world would be HAD HE NEVER BEEN BORN! How wonderful is THAT life? Why? They claim that they always wanted to do a sequel, but rejected every script until they got this one. WHAT? They rejected every script because this idea is terrible.

zuzu-and-george-bailey

Clayton: Oh boy.

Joseph: This is gross. This is horrible. So much anger. Never has there been more evidence our current society is much more Pottersville than Bedford Falls…

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Roundtable: Thoughts on Darren Aronofsky’s “Noah”

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies, Roundtables | Leave a comment

215952-darren-aronofsky-noah-russell-crowe-emma-watson-ray-winstone

[Editor’s Note: I’m a big fan of Aronofsky. I LOVED The Fountain and thought Black Swan, though imperfect, was extremely creative and captivating. So I was disappointed when Aronofsky dropped as the director of the second Wolverine film. But then I was intrigued when I found out he was directing a film about the Old Testament tale of Noah’s Ark. Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to see how this would be. And, with the premiere of the first trailer, I’m still not sure. So I did what I do with many things… sent the trailer to some of my smartest and funniest friends to get their thoughts. It would have been selfish of me not to share these with you. – Joseph]

Joseph: From the man who brought us Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, and Black Swan

NOAH!

Discuss.

Some context is helpful for what the rumored problems with the early screenings have been.

Seth: We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

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2013 Awards Season Movie Trailers

Posted on by The Wise Guise in Entertainment, Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

2013-fall-movies

The summer movie season is officially over. That means we have a couple months of possible award contenders, horror flicks, and the leftovers of Hollywood. But increasingly, independent films, intelligent thrillers, and Oscar contenders are released in a more staggered fashioned, earlier and earlier. The Butler arguably launched the awards movie season.

With this in mind, Clayton and I present trailers for nearly any movie coming out for the rest of 2013 that you would care about. You’ve heard of some of these and others will probably be brand new to you. Regardless, some of these will be buzzworthy, some will be duds, and most of the Oscar contenders will come from this list. So check out the list below and keep it close so you can keep track of what is coming out when. Enjoy the trailers and our one-statement thoughts on each film!

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Ben Affleck as Batman: Destiny or Disaster?

Posted on by Joseph Williams in Featured, Movie Previews, Movies | Leave a comment

Ben Affleck Batman

In an announcement late Thursday evening, “Zack Snyder, whose Man of Steel has grossed over $649 million worldwide, said in a Warner Bros. press release announcing Ben Affleck as the next Batman: “Ben provides an interesting counter-balance to Henry’s Superman. He has the acting chops to create a layered portrayal of a man who is older and wiser than Clark Kent and bears the scars of a seasoned crime fighter, but retain the charm that the world sees in billionaire Bruce Wayne. I can’t wait to work with him.”

“We knew we needed an extraordinary actor to take on one of DC Comics’ most enduringly popular Super Heroes, and Ben Affleck certainly fits that bill, and then some. His outstanding career is a testament to his talent and we know he and Zack will bring new dimension to the duality of this character,” Warner Bros. exec Greg Silverman said in the announcement.

The Wise Guise immediately began a text message conversation about this latest development. The two most outspoken members, unsurprisingly being Joseph and Alex, share their thoughts this morning. Enjoy!

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