Written by: @jeremywilson412
In the words of Chris Harrison, “Coming up on this week’s episode (recap) of The Bachelor…”
The ladies receive their first real test, we pause to remember those we lost this week, I present a theory about Corinne that is bulletproof, and we discuss the contenders and pretenders.
But first, can we start having rose ceremonies at the end of an episode again? It’s throwing my whole week out of balance.
(Written by: @JeremyWilson412)
I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up in a shark costume convinced it was a dolphin costume.
I wasn’t going to write about The Bachelor this year, but then a girl showed up who hooked up with Nick at Jade and Tanner’s wedding. Did you guys hear about that? I wish she would mention it every time she is on camera. (More to come)
(Written by @JeremyWilson412. For more coverage of this season’s The Bachelor, go here)
Another season has come and gone, and one thing was clear from start to finish: America loves Ben. Admit it, you love Ben. It doesn’t matter if you are a single girl, a married woman, or a guy who says he just watches because his wife/girlfriend makes him and blah blah blah… You love Ben. Also, guy, you are about to watch a month’s worth of college basketball games not even involving your team, so the least you could do is watch America’s greatest reality show for 2 hours – sometimes 3 – every Monday – and sometimes on Sunday – from the first week in January until the middle of March. Well, some things sound worse when you put them on paper. Anyway…
America loves Ben
America loves Ben so much that he’s already polling higher than Kasich and Rubio.
(Written by @JeremyWilson412. For more on this season’s The Bachelor, go here… and by here, I mean the link that is embedded in the word “here” used prior to that use of here. If you click on any of the here’s that aren’t in a different color, then you’ll be disappointed. If you click on the here that IS in a different color, then you’ll see more posts about The Bachelor, but you also might be disappointed. Who’s to say?)
This week’s recap of The Bachelor is the “I’m bored on a plane” edition. I’m writing this on a flight from Nashville to San Francisco, so if you are reading this and thinking that I have really drifted off a few times, you’d be correct! This week’s post is (unofficially) sponsored by almonds from the airport Starbucks, half of a can of Diet Coke courtesy of Southwest, and also brought to you by the reclined seat in front of me. How is this still a thing? “Ahh, I’m way more comfortable with my seat reclined an extra 4 degrees. Now this is luxury!” said the guy sitting in front of me, probably.
(Written by @JeremyWilson412. For more coverage of this season’s The Bachelor, click here)
I’m just not feeling it this week.
I know that’s not the best way to grab attention at the beginning of a blog. If you want people to click on a story about The Bachelor you should title it something like, “What Really Happened to Emily’s Thumb will Shock You!” Or, “How to survive being trapped in Wrigley Field for 9 hours with a guy who doesn’t understand sarcasm,” or maybe, “How many crew members of The Bachelor did Olivia actually swallow whole? The REAL number might surprise you!” Man, we miss you, Olivia. Also, the real number was 12.
But why lie to you? I’m just not feeling it this week. So I think the best thing to do is just… wait, what’s that noise? OMG it’s Ben on his pontoon boat!
(Written by: @JeremyWilson412. For recaps of earlier episodes of The Bachelor go here)
Coming up on this week’s Bachelor recap: I give Olivia’s eulogy at her funeral, we say goodbye to the girls who were sent home, and we figure out who the remaining six girls are if they were one of your friends on Instagram!
But first, I must apologize that this post is coming on a Thursday instead of earlier in the week. I know that The Bachelor is on TV on Mondays and you have already forgotten about it by Thursday, but I was busy. No, not busy with work, but I was tasked with giving the eulogy for Olivia as we said goodbye to her life on The Bachelor.
It was a beautiful service. I know that most of you couldn’t make it, so I’d like to share the eulogy that I gave at the funeral.