For those who enjoy writing, you have more than likely experienced one of the worst things a writer could experience: writer’s block. You know what I am talking about. You want to write, you are excited about it, you grab a pen and paper, then…nothing. The dialogue in your head might go like this: “Come on, what am I going to write about? There’s got to be something I can put into words.”
To switch topics, my prayer life is a lot like “writer’s block” sometimes. I find myself, most of the time, listing off to God a grand stack of “Please God, do this for me’s.” Or maybe I choose not to pray out of insecurity about the fact that I really do not know what to talk to God about… or I have not really heard from God lately… or maybe I do not think God really cares about what I have to say. The list of reasons could go on for awhile. And they often do.
Why do I pray? By this question, I mean that I hit a wall sometimes and have nothing to say. Just like getting my pen and paper together without having any idea of what to write about, I almost prepare myself to speak to the “Lover of my soul” (SONG OF SONGS) and get nowhere. I feel inadequate, or maybe I even question whether or not I am a Christian, because I think that God is expecting me to say the right things.
Jesus prayed. The Son of God, in all of His glory, prayed. During His time on this earth, He would rise earlier than everyone else to pray to His Father (Mark 1:35), and He would spend nights praying to God (Luke 6:12) as well. Jesus, Lord and Savior, saw it necessary and vital to spend time talking to His Father, God, who happens to be our Heavenly Father as well. If it is necessary enough for Jesus, than it must be necessary enough for me.
But I feel inadequate. I really do. I am sinful. I am broken. I have way too much baggage. Yeah, I know that Jesus died for me and washed away my sin and brokenness. It just does not always feel this way. My baggage is so heavy.
I hear and accept the lies that I am not worthy of God’s time.
There is a hope in all of this. The perfect Jesus, whom in all things were created and in whom all things are held together, tells us that we should always pray and not give up (Luke 18:1). Think about that. Amidst our corruption and raggedness, Jesus came, lived among us, was beaten, crucified, died, was buried, rose from the grave defeating death to give us life, and is preparing a city for us upon His coming again.
If this is true, I think I will begin there. I’ll praise Him for what He’s done, and pray for His coming soon. Even if I do not know what to say, or I feel too inadequate, I hope to remember the truth about Jesus.