Earlier this week, Maroon 5 released their video for Sugar, a catchy, hook-filled, bubble-gum pop of a song. Just to clarify, no shame here, I think it’s pretty good. Whatever.
The video shows Adam Levine and the boys crashing weddings and playing the song at the receptions. They have their crew walk in, set-up a stage complete with curtains to keep the band a secret, and calm the brides’ fathers’ nerves during what appears to be a hostile wedding takeover.
Then of course the band sneaks in, the curtains drop, and BAM! platinum superstars Maroon 5 become the world’s greatest wedding band. Sounds fun, right? Sure, I guess it would be pretty cool to have a big-time hit machine like M5 play your wedding.
No new husband in his right mind would want Adam Levine with his model good looks, sexual dance moves, and beautiful freaking smile anywhere near his bride. It seems like a death wish.
“Hey Adam. Love your work on The Voice and I really dug that “Moves like Jagger” song. Let me introduce you to my wife, who of course looks more beautiful today than she ever has before. Oh you want to talk to her in private after your mini-set in which you plan to gyrate all over our makeshift stage in my wife’s face. Yeah, that’s fine. I’m sure there’s a coat closet where you two can “talk” later. Go for it.”
No way. If Adam Levine comes to my wedding reception, I assume he’s going to steal my wife and make me look like the horse’s ass that thought it was a great idea for Maroon 5 to play their new song “Sugar” on the happiest day of my life.
Here’s what I would do. I would get my groove on for the song. Maybe request some early Maroon 5 goodness, which obviously is their best stuff, then take two shots of bourbon and punch Adam Levine in his precious little face before he has the chance to make off with my wife.
The grooms in the video look so happy that Levine and M5 have done them a solid by busting out some jams in between the cake cutting and the bouquet toss, but I’d like to see these grooms interviewed when they find out Levine helped their wives get a jump start on the wedding night fun. Who’s smiling and dancing now, dudes?
Check out the video below and judge for yourself. No chance these couples are still together, because even if Levine didn’t bed the ladies, they were definitely underwhelmed by their husbands later.