It’s Still Real to Me DAMMIT!

If you are one who judges people based on the their television taste, well this is a post tailor made for you and your narrow mindedness. Nobody likes closed minded people, why else would being liberal be so hip these days? I have wasted a myriad of hours in my life watching what most would call “trashy television”, and I am completely okay with my decisions. Well most of them. Maybe a few VH1 shows were given too much longevity on the DVR queue. But we are not here to debate all reality television shows. I am here to convince you of just one, and only one. Some would consider it the Brett Favre of the reality TV world while others contend it is the Run DMC of the voyeurtainment industry (just made that word up you can thank me later). Should I drop anymore hints or are we all aware of the white elephant in the room?

It’s The Real World folks, all others need not apply. I have watched this show more religiously than any other series on the tube. Even though I can roughly predict how things are going to shake down throughout the season after the premiere episode I watch. Is it the car crash theory? Can’t take our eyes off inevitable tragedy? Do we hope for redemption to shine through in such murky and alcoholic waters? Whatever it is that draws me to this show (and it varies with each season) I continue to support “trashy television”. Here’s the kicker, I think you should endorse The Real World like myself. Come on and give it a try, just one hit. Everyone else is doing it. Over the next few paragraphs I will present some compelling arguments and moments that will hopefully solidfy your stance on MTV’s cash cow.

I always feel better about myself after enduring those 42 minutes of each episode. Seriously, think about it this way. There is at least one person on the show that makes a complete ass of his/herself. Oh it’s your first night around seven strangers and you leave your deep dark journal of secrets and confessions out on a picnic table all the while you’ve stripped down to your birthday suit and had a naked party of one in the jacuzzi? So is this how all Boston people introduce themselves? I’ve never been there but I hear it’s great. Sans this guy. And good news for you, he just made you feel better about your decision to buy frayed jeans and an affliction shirt. Silver lining is so key in watching these types of shows. Also perspective plays a major influencer in how you approach The Real World.

Deep down most of you would think about (at least for 20 seconds) being on the cast. Why not right? After several years of observation I would know what I would and wouldn’t do/say around the cameras. I live vicariously through some character on each season. I carefully analyze who has their “head on right” and compare my discernment versus theirs. How would I react if I was roomed with a guy like Frank from the San Diego season? Slip something in his drink with frequency? Constantly confront him and explain to him this is not how “real” people behave? Critiquing disputes and immature behavior might be my favorite in show activity while watching these episodes. I ALWAYS have a better solution for the cast members. Sadly, they are in TV land and I am just a mere number to them.

MTV has perfected the art of editing and cliff hanging. For the most part they convince me (usually with ease) that next week’s episode is going to be mind blowing, earth shattering, never before seen, yada yada yada. Damn you MTV. A fight? Police cars! Tearful confessions!! Yes I will tune in next week to watch the conclusion of this week’s trip to the local bar scene. You can stop your eye rolling please. “Colin why do you waste your time on such frivolous things?” I love me some voyeurtainment (catchy isn’t it). I can’t stop watching and hoping the next season will be different. I am completely aware that MTV’s Real World in no sense of the word is representative to real life situations. We all know these people are secretly planted by MTV or have been strategically placed in a situation with such volatility it’s not even fair. Recovering alcoholic, gay basher, trans-gender, virgin mormon, hyper insecure girl, a token of some sort, and one boring person is the fool proof formula for exciting TV. Maybe one day there will be major changes to keep it fresh, but I still watch regardless.

I want you to give this season a chance, although it’s most definitely not The Real World’s finest sample in their storied past. But choose a cast member to love and one to hate. Secretly wish for roomie hook ups and childish quarrels. Over analyze every episode on what could have been better. Enjoy it for what it was created for, relief from “The REAL World”. One day reality will smack them in the face and it won’t be in the form of a drunken punch because you were reading someone’s secret journal left out on a table.

P.S. Here are a few top 5’s from my viewing years of YOUR new favorite 1 hour show:

The Miz

Top 5 Cast Members

1. Leroy- Vegas

2. Teck- Hawaii

3. The Miz- Back to New York

4. CT- Paris

5. Cyrus- Boston


The Real World Back to New York

Top 5 Seasons

1. Back to New York

2. Las Vegas round 2

3. Paris

4. Hawaii

5.  Boston


Kellyanne Judd

Top 5 Crushes

1. Kellyanne Judd- Sydney

2. Kelley Limp- New Orleans

3. Ashley Kelsey- San Diego

4. Svetlana Shusterman- Key West

5. Heather Marter- Las Vegas


Posted on by Colin Stovall in Featured, Reality Check, Television

4 Responses to It’s Still Real to Me DAMMIT!

  1. UTBrewster

    I loved that post until I scrolled down only to see a pic of the Miz…I hate that guy so much it’s borderline illegal…made for exciting Monday nights though (VIPER!)

  2. brainsturtz

    do you remember when we saw the Miz at a Cracker Barrel in Arkansas?
    (yeah, I can’t believe I just said those words too)

  3. Pingback: Wolfpac Recap: WWE Money in the Bank Pay-Per-View | The Wise Guise

  4. Alex

    I would like to say FUCK you to all you punks that made a music channel into a fascist Jerry Springer, again FUCK you all!

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