Each Tuesday at 2 PM some member of The Memphis Flyer’s staff poses a trivia question to the weekly magazine’s Twitter followers. The first person to respond correctly is awarded a prize. The prize is usually $40 in credit at The Flying Saucer and four Malco movie passes. Sometimes it’s not as great, like a free t-shirt, and sometimes it’s way better, like Bonnaroo tickets.

I play every week, and I have never won. And honestly it pisses me right off because each week I respond with the correct answer within about 30 seconds of the question being posted, and somehow, someone is always a split-second faster than me.

Here is a letter I wrote to whoever asks these weekly brain busters in hopes that the participants might see some degree of change in the future, mainly a degree of change that offers an actual challenge.

I’m sure you can relate some portion of your life to my diatribe, but if not, give it a look anyway. If for nothing else, it might give you ideas about how to get someone’s attention. First sure-fire way? Write them a letter. People always read letters. Never send an e-mail; it’s too easy to delete those. But when someone sees a hand addressed envelope and a real signature on a letter, he or she is going to read it most of the time. Obviously celebrities and the President are exceptions to this rule.

With all of that being said, here are my thoughts: