After Boys II Mensa aired in the fall of 1993, Boy Meets World took a week off before airing this week’s episode. Just like it did then, I had to take a break from writing Feeny Fridays during law school finals and journal write-on. Every time I sat down to write Feeny Friday, I just imagined Feeny standing there, glaring at me, not even having to speak any words and yet conveying to me a sense of disappointment in my poor prioritization and lack of focus on my studies. With all that done, we can get back to business! And by business, I mean Feeny Fridays. On to this week’s episode…
Grandma Was a Rolling Stone – originally aired November 12, 1993
Episode Summary: Feeny’s niece comes for a visit and Eric gets Morgan to help in asking her out. Cory and the kids grandma comes for the weekend and she makes a promise to Cory but he is disappointed when she leaves early, and he misses out on the fishing trip with Shawn and his dad.
For those of you that wish to play along at home, here is the entire episode from YouTube. Ahhh… the inter webs… the things they can do!
We open with Mr. Matthews finding Cory and Shawn working with Feeny in Feeny’s garden, collecting the snails to use for fishing. When Mr. Matthews informs them that fish don’t eat snails, Feeny flashes that mischievous grin.
Feeny: Gee, guess I was mistaken.
Ahh… Feeny’s back, people!
Cory: Manipulating young and impressionable minds. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Mr. Feeny!
Feeny: Indeed I am, Mr. Matthews!
Feeny then displays his “angling” skills by perfectly casting a line, calling himself a “bass hog,” and recalling a September morning at the Louisiana delta in 1956. Lists out trees. Says bayou… takes us into Feenyland… a place that exists in our collective imaginations, hearts, minds, and consciences. The place I’m shocked Super Bowl winners don’t say they’re going to. Disney World and Harry Potter world are great… but the wisdom of Feeny is even tastier than butter beer. But I digress…
Inside the house, Eric is convincing Morgan to help him hit on girls when Grandma arrives. And boy, does she! It’s Blanche from Golden Girls (had to ask my wife which one she was… then used IMDB)! It’s Rue McClanahan! But affectionately known to us as Grandma Bernice Matthews, who sat on her keister for 11 hours in that winnebago, with a shrunken head for Morgan and a bullwhip for Eric. This lady… she parties! She wears 1990s wind suits and references Johnny Cash songs. Mentions Jamie Farr on stage!
Later, Feeny comes over and asks Eric how to entertain a teenage girl his age. After Eric accuses Feeny of sketchy behavior and Feeny throws out an Eisenhower administration reference, Feeny asks Eric for help. Eric pretends to be sick, but Feeny says he just wants ideas. Eric provides some and Feeny mocks his “expertise.”
Then, the magic begins. Keri Russell is Feeny’s niece! Felicity herself… from a JJ Abrams alternate universe. Eric gets nervous, calls up Morgan from the bullpen to help him, and starts to scheme a way into Felicity Feeny’s… er… heart.
Her name on the show is actually Jessica. Eric is loving that the plan is working. Feeny sees right through the antics. Feeny finagles a way into an invitation as well before rejecting Eric’s reluctant invite with the quip, “I’d rather have gum surgery.”
Feeny is extra snarky this week. Back with a bite… it’s what we needed in our life!
Later, Cory fins himself stood up by his grandmother and missing out on his dad and Shawn’s fishing adventure. Sitting in his treehouse, he sees the end of the Jessica/Eric/Morgan carnival adventure. Eric is driving hard to the hoop, but Jessica seems like she wants to break the Feeny fence barrier with her mouth… if you know what I mean. (I mean making out over Feeny’s fence.)
Mr. Matthews and Shawn return from fishing. Cory peeks his head out.
Eric: How long have you been up there?
Cory: Long enough to see you swap spit with a Feeny!!!
Mr. Matthews: She’s related to Feeny?!?!
Mr. Matthews: Niiiice. (Don’t worry… not creepy in the 90s.)
Cory and his dad then begin to bond over the experience of Bernice standing them up for events with high expectations.
Mr. Matthews: Grandma doesn’t show you love like other people do. … When she is with you, she wants you to always remember.
With a Cory/Grandma reunion (she did get him a rookie Cal Ripken Jr. card!) and Cory understanding how to not let expectations get carried away, we have one final great showdown of the episode…
Feeny vs. Grandma Matthews. The Battle of the Greats!
Eric comes running into the house, hot and bothered, telling his dad to vouch for him that he’s been in his room for the last 20 minutes.
Feeny: I’d appreciate if you kept your boy and his hormones inside this house, at least until my niece leaves!
After Grandma Matthews vouches for him and Feeny catches her in her lie because he just saw her winnebago destroy his mums, tensions only rise higher and Grandma Matthews threatens to run over the rest of the mums. Feeny is confused, doesn’t love Grandma Matthews, and lives on mind boggled once again by the Matthews family.
And thus ends our latest Feeny Friday. What did we learn this week?
1) Feeny has good genes… that occasionally can look really good in jeans.
2) Feeny loves his mums.
3) Feeny isn’t above using the ignorance of his students to get them to work hard in the soil, teaching them to be true to the Jeffersonian vision of America as filled with yeomen farmers working the land.
4) Feeny doesn’t understand teenage girls.
5) Feeny doesn’t like teenage boys’ hormones in his house.
6) Feeny hasn’t dated a teenage girl since Eisenhower was President.
7) Cory loves his grandma. Feeny doesn’t love Cory’s grandmother as much… although there was possibly some subtle sexual tension there.
8) Morgan Matthews is an awesome wingman.
9) Cal Ripken, Jr. is a baseball machine.
10) Feeny is wise. (It’s been so long, we needed a reminder of this one as well.)
Until next week, watch some Golden Girls, some Felicity, and ask yourself… What Would Feeny Do?