Tuesday’s With Tony: Quest for the Retweet

And so it began. Yesterday I made several attempts to get my buddy Tony Allen to retweet something I sent him. He is always RT’ing, so I figured I would make a conscious effort to get TA to approve a 140 character or less configuration.

I would like to apologize to those whose Twitter feeds I overwhelmed. Don’t judge my desperation as the night came to a close. Now to share with you my feeble attempts to get @aa000g9 to give me my 12 seconds of fame, since @Scootereater didn’t seem too impressed with our blog or website or blog or is it a website? Am I getting paid for this? Bazinga. Full circle.

I started off very innocent and generic with Tony, trying to get a quick retweet with a simple braggadocios tweet about him being the best defender in the league. Baby steps, slow inundation of my tweeting attack.

My next tweet was a question towards Tony. I know he’s a pontificater, so why not tweet him something that would shake the cobwebs loose in his cranium.

Tony is known for his Grit N’ Grind lifestyle and play. Why not use his vernacular in an attempt to gain his attention? I also coupled it with another praise about his defense.

I was more direct with this tweet. Knowing Tony’s love for other basketball leagues/programs I notified Tony of our upcoming playoffs and asked for some of his wisdom. Side note, please don’t come to our Rec League playoff game today at 7:30 at Independent Presbyterian’s gym. Water is in the boat.

As a rap enthusiast, the Tupac Hologram at Coachella was really cool. I had a buddy who was there, and he said it was and I quote “amazing”. I used this as a teaser to get Tony in my periphery. Nowhere in sight.

I take it to the next level with this one. Completely make up a story that I made a hole in one on the par 3 next to Rudy Gay’s house. I thought maybe being close to Rudy’s house would compel Tony to RT. I knew the hole in one would be secondary. Ship is slowly sinking.

The desperation begins to seep through in these next few tweets. I fabricate that my brother has a birthday today. Everyone should get a retweet on their birthday, it’s un-American if you don’t (teaser for the summer Olympics). Tony refuses to bite the bait.

Frankness. Maybe this will be my golden ticket to my magic ride down the chocolaty river of retweeting. Maybe frankness isn’t the best word choice, begging might fit better. I am becoming that mosquito in Tony’s twitter ear.

Change up. Subtly I redirect the conversation back to his recent meal with fellow Grizzlies Marreese Speights. Fiddlesticks. Still nothing.

Last attempt felt eerily similar to my failed pick up lines under the influence of an adult beverage or three.

Failure is not acceptable. I will not let this one day thwart my quest for a retweet. If he does retweet one of my attempts, go ahead and clear your calendar the next day because I am making a David Ethieresque post about my elation. I just hope he doesn’t block me before that can happen.


Posted on by Colin Stovall in Basketball, Featured, Sports, Tuesday's With Tony

One Response to Tuesday’s With Tony: Quest for the Retweet

  1. @scootereater

    A few things:
    1. I like the callback humor, clowning me for clowning you. Good stuff.

    2. This is the best TWT post so far.

    3. ” David Ethieresque post” is now a thing? Representing a too-long post? Wow.

    4. I can’t wait for TA to check his @ replies and sees way too many from you.

    5. Persevere. Maybe one day you’ll get that RT. Then you’ll be like me: I’ve been RT’d by Bill Simmons. What.

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