Welcome to the NCAA Championship drinking game! We have decided to go Inception on your ass and create a game within a game. Only ours makes the other way more fun to watch. Listen, we all know that girls can’t sit through the first half of anything. And while guys act like they are into it, they really wish you weren’t over making them put up a front. So why not create something to spice things up a little and make it a fun event for everyone to watch? The rules are simple: Every time something listed below happens, you follow the consequences. We thought it would be most fun to go by category.
1. Drink when they mention that these are the two winningest programs in NCAA Division I history.
2. Drink when they mention that James Naismith once coached at Kansas.
3. Drink any time they show Mario Chalmers. Take an extra drink for every tear you might fight back.
1. Before the game starts, choose either State Farm or All State. Whenever they show a commercial for your opposing insurance company, you have to drink.
2. Every time there is a commercial for The Masters, the last person to name a green jacket winner drinks.
1. Drink every time John Calipari stomps his foot or raises his hands up to head level and beyond.
2. Drink when they mention that John Calipari was once an assistant coach at Kansas.
3. Drink any time the number of times reported for Calipari going to the Final Four and National Championship and the amount in your head don’t match up.
4. Every time John Calipari leaves the coaches box for any reason.
The Game (Drinking for these categories doubles whenever a team is in the double bonus)
1. Drink every time the terms “youth” or “athleticism” are used.
2. Girls have to drink every time Ashley Judd is shown.
3. Drink every time a white guy enters the game. Also any time they show highlights of a white guy taking a game-winning shot (i.e. Christian Laettner or Gordon Hayward).
4. If a shot is airballed, the last person to stand up takes three drinks.
5. Any time Anthony Davis blocks a shot, you have 5 seconds to tap the top of someone’s beer bottle near you.
6. Drink for every former Kentucky or Kansas player they show in the crowd. If you spot one that they don’t mention or point out you get to chose someone to drink.
7. Drink any time they show a family member of a player.
8. Drink any time Bill Self squats down or crosses his arms and looks confused or mad.
9. Drink every time there is an alley-oop dunk. OR any time you feel like Anthony Davis launched forward for a dunk in an “Angry Bird” like way.
10. Drink any time they show a member of either team’s pep band doing something you would be too embarrassed to do. Also if they are wearing something you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing.
11. Drink anytime they show someone wearing a Green Man full body spandex suit. Better yet, finish your drink.
Disclaimer: The Wise Guise will not apologize if you end up hammered, nor will we ever apologize for partying too hard. It’s what we do. More ideas will be added via Twitter so follow us at @TheWiseGuise for more additions to the game.