And we’re back with another Tuesday)s With Tony. This past weekend the NBA had its annual dog and pony show, so here’s a quick wrap up for those who chose to watch Billy Crystal in black-face instead of a black face raise a crystal. Hey, Billy got laughs, figured I would try it too.
The weekend included a celebrity basketball game (Kevin Hart, MVP), Rookie/Sophomore game (layup drill), 3 point contest (K.Love), dunk contest (YAWN), and the main event Sunday had its moments of greatness. Blah blah blah. The weekend allowed players to rest and relax for a few days in preparation for the second half of the season. Well, Tony might have been resting his legs, but his thumbs have been very busy lately.
He started off this past week with an instant classic! While discussing his Epsom salt bath and his admission of not knowing what Epsom salt was, he still acknowledges his mother’s wisdom. Bless her, bless her. This was my favorite tweet of the week and early on I thought this would take up the majority of the post, but I was premature in my posting prophecy.
You see, it turns out that Tony has been learning magic. Yes, you heard me correctly, he tried to become Tony Blaine during his days off from basketball. Don’t believe me? Watch me put the pieces back together right before your very own eyes! (waves wand and the lights dim)
At first, TA the Great gets it! Face card!
Tony is clearly psyched, as is evidenced by the picture he attached to his tweet!
Then the plot thickens. TA the Great can’t be having some technical issues can he? Face card?
Feat not! TA the Great pulled it off yet again!
Thrice this tweet appeared in Tony’s twitter feed. At first I wasn’t sure why he was chirping this out to the world. Could Tony be a semi-professional black jack player? Was he doubling down with 8 3 of clubs against the dealer’s 6? No. Tony says no to gambling, he’s a role model. Could he have been playing F the dealer with Showtime Selby, Fro J Mayo, Q-Pon and others? No (see previous rationale). Only plausible explanation could be magic lessons.
Killing time during his All-Star weekend break, Tony stumbled upon a Criss Angel infomercial. Mesmerized by the potential notoriety of being a magician he ordered his own personal 5 disc set of magic trickin’. Tony is a cards guy (ask OJ Mayo) so he naturally gravitated towards predicting people’s card. After studious hours spent perfecting his talents, Tony decided to take his act to the streets. TA the Great began scouring the streets of downtown Memphis looking for prospects to dazzle and amaze.
As Tony performed his magic act, he shared the results with his twitter family to prove it wasn’t premeditated. The first attempt was a success as we can see in his tweet because he used several “!!!’s” Unfortunately, TA the Great faced folly in his second display of card interpretation. Hence his 2nd tweet of Face Card followed with “?”
Not to be deterred, TA the Great sought out one final contestant in his game of magic. He rehearsed his lines and recounted what his mistakes were in his previous attempt.
Success! He correctly identified his street magic participant’s card. Face Card!
Alas, the NBA season un-pauses for the Grizzlies on Wednesday night as they take on the Dallas Mavericks. Lionel Hollins confronted Tony about his new hobby and explained to him his tricks on the court were needed more. Tony obliged his coach’s request and TA the Great pulled off his greatest trick to date; for his prestige, Tony made his card talents disappear in the blink of an eye. As all greats have preceded before him, Tony declined to reveal his secrets.
*Tune in next week to see what new tricks Tony has up his Twitter feed sleeve.